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beautifulandpreppyxo:

a perfect beach day
  • me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
  • me driving: say your prayers
  • 15,914 notes

feeble-lion-turtle:

when someone says ‘toxic’ in chemistry

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tentarude:

troncats:

sorry:

I read an article the other day that said, “if you drink every day you are an alcoholic.” Thank god I only drink every night

why do text posts these days sound like they are quotes from a 40 year old mother’s facebook

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the-gold-coast:

God my dream
ask-koki-kariya:

suprarationality:

The Fault in Our Stepbrothers

Megan?Megan.

bowties-and-boatshoes:

Couples that are preppy together, stay together

batmanisagatewaydrug:

thumbtackjuicyfruitspork:

You know when a fast angry song comes on that you know every word to and you’re in just the right mood that your eyes light up with the fire and angst of a thousand punk rockers and you just feel so alive

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leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

j5h:

eggs